What is it with girls? I am constantly complaining (to no one in particular) about how cruel girls are. My friends are sometimes telling me that I am too shy in front of them. Well they don���t say it too nicely though. They say something like, ���tui boshei thak onnora eshe other potie niye jaabe��� if you did not understand that it���s ok with me. And there are these straight or almost straight girls who treat me in a way that I am left really confused. Some are just fine, laughing at my mock advances and sometimes responding in such a way that I know that it is all fun. Not that it doesn���t hurt sometimes cos sometimes I can be half serious and they full joking, but what hurts and confuses me most is when girls who know me so well, give mixed signals. When, let���s say, drunk, they behave (or act) as if they are so into me, that that heterosexual relationship they are in is not really a happy one, but something which meets social conditions. I, even if not really interested in her sexually, begin having these regrets and start cursing society��色�色��.blah blah. And then they just switch off. Just like that. Telling me how wonderful a time they have with their boyfriends, or what a good-looking guy they met on the train...Etc. and I am left feeling like a fool. It is not society really that is stopping them. And if it really is then let���s not even talk about it. To rouse the need in me and then to leave me high and dry is just cruel. But I can���t say anything, because other than just hurt and betrayal, I don���t feel anything. I don���t always feel the need or desire for them. And when I am back to feeling fine and all ready to forgive someone comes up with a statement that means, ���so I am just a friend to you? Nothing more���?
NO NO NO NO.
Nothing more. Why should you be? If you are a friend then try loving me and not hurting me. And if you can���t help yourself then ��安ell��� learn to. I hate it when straight girls expect something like love or lust from me but are unable to or simply unwilling to respond. Play all these games with some guy you are eyeing. Leave me out of it!!!!!