Saturday, February 25, 2006

truth bites????

I am a very honest person.
I try not to lie.
Mostly I manipulate the truth so well I don’t even need to lie.
Am I not honest?
I mean who would say that?
Say that they are manipulative?
And off late I am trying to fight the urge to tell my mom that I am gay.
I mean should I or not?
Many friends will tell not, especially since I am Bi (I think, right now I don’t know, but I just am not straight)
And perhaps should wait for what if I find a great guy to marry? Then it will not be worth putting my parents through heartache and me through constant ….something…..i don’t yet know how mom would react.

I mean it wont be totally a surprise.
I mean she knows.
Once we were out for dinner, and my sis tells my mom and dad that “Piya is seeing a girl now” and my mom freezes for a sec and then recovers and says, “But whatever it is she is going to marry a guy from Calcutta”

So see! She refused to pursue it.

Or may be she did but I said that I admired her and thought her brilliant and were not going around.

Oh yes! I am a very honest person.


dreamyeyes said...

maybe she knows, cause her constant doubt is what are we girls upto in the room.
Or maybe she won't accept it at all.
Don't tell her right away, take some time before you do that. In the mean time keep hinting at what the future topic might be.

L>T said...

I can see you are really struggling w/this. Being Bi & being a Lesbian are not the same thing, you know that.

If you are Bi then getting married is an option. But, if you are a lesbian, you would be miserable. Find out yourself, first. I think you are wanting to talk to someone about it. (maybe unconscience(?) desire to get advice) talk to your mother if you think she can be rational about it...

Isn't there a school counselor or some kind of professional advisor, you could go to? (someone who has come 'out of the closet' themselves?

Ultimatally, the decison is yours & lots of people have 'come out of the closet' You are not a dishonest person, you are just afraid to expose the real you.

Here I am going on. I haven't been there, myself. I know you are in a tough positon tho.

Good luck, shona!!!

uglygirl said...

thanks you guys!

Solan said...

why does l>t talking about 'coming out of the closet' reminds me of boggarts?
that is the silliest i could ever be...

uglygirl said...

solan, that is the term, used to signify um...coming out.

L>T said...

I guess the term 'coming out of the closet' is a bit archaic. :)

What are boggarts?

uglygirl said...

a harry potter term.

L>T said...

Oh, O.K. :)

Solan said...

U.G u've been with me for long now, for that kindda comment.

Sol said...

uglygirl ~ it is so freaking difficult to live with something inside of you that is different from the majority.

i cannot pretend to know which is better, revealing or concealing..but in my experience not everyone can accept such differences.

good luck, either way..and tell us how things go ;)