Tuesday, May 09, 2006

dial an orgasm


I don’t know if this is worth owning up to, but I have always emoted better over the phone. Sometimes it is like that you know. Some people have better online personalities….or let me just say different personalities. Over the phone I can do drama without any worry. The facelessness invisibility of the phone gives me time to come up with words phrases sentences theories which I know I would not face to face. An ex of mine, would say when we are arguing face to face whether I would like to go to the next room with a phone? Cos then we both knew I would get to the real problem quite quick. My yahoo messenger personality is quite notorious too, but for a slightly different reason (I can see R agreeing with me here).
This post is going to be about phone sex.
Ahem…..yes.
As kids I and many others like me practiced a safe way to sex. Talk it out. And last night I was ….. thinking of ‘phone sex’ again and I realised certain things about it. That was last night and by now I have probably forgotten what all I was going to say, but….

One way to start veering the conversation towards ps (phone sex) is to ask after a poignant pause, “so…. what are you wearing?” sometimes the trick is in creating the mood. The reason for this mood should always be because you two are apart. “Sowhatareyouwearing” is an internationally acknowledged ps starter. For all you ps practioners, it I know must have come naturally. That’s what makes this phrase the most simple and innovative one.
The answer can vary…but ….ahem…I would suggest always stick to the truth. If you are wearing cotton faded tee, then just say that. To an already active imagination it could do wonders.

The other way…and this for people who can are always called imaginative by their friends, and those who can cook up questions in truth or dare, give a situation to the person on the other side, ‘ if you were at the peak of this hill near a waterfall and there was nobody around…..and if it rained….and all you could see was green ….and the grey of the mist….and then you see a little shed nearby and I approach you from behind……’. This works sometimes especially if your room is hot and you love the rains. It also works if the one on the phone knows you and thrills you with details; you never thought he/she would remember. (Oh god! Phone sex works at so many levels toh!).

Another way is when you instead of using weather, geographical locations use the location of the …umm… heart and go ‘this was the last time we could meet and you were getting married tomorrow…’ this works wonders for some. Almost like break-up phone sex.

The most familiar way is I suppose the whine-sigh method. When you are talking to your lover who is far away and you guys have already been intimate in real life…you rely on memory. When the terrain is familiar the going can be smooth. ‘Whine-and-sigh’ cos this conversation will invariably start with a “……aaaaaah wish you were here” and have a “you are wearing what?? Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.

There is another one but let me warn you, it could leave you feeling empty afterwards. Its when two people come together for sex only (even in real life) and can play-act situation out. Orgies BDSM could be played out here to heart’s content, but if you feel more for the person on the other side of the phone than just lust, stay clear of such a situation cos chances are its gonna hurt when he/she just rolls over and falls asleep.

6 comments:

mizfit said...

i'm sorry...plz forgive me. :(

mizfit said...

i'm sorry...plz forgive me. :(

mizfit said...

i'm sorry...plz forgive me. :(

Anonymous said...

hehe! i never did phone sex b4 n only got introduced to it for the past 3 days. but i used the tricks yesterday... the what r u wearing, the hypothetical situation n the whines n the sighs... even b4 I read ur post. guess its nature's gift..oh noo! not in the genes cuz um sure my parents never did it 4 d lack of a phone... lol!

i think it was cuz this person i was talkin to has the same rythm n the vibes. ohh! how we moaned together in agreement on many things we talked about. i dun c why it should be different in person if u know u have d freedom to be urself in the other's company. its not ur expression that matters but the soul of it :-)

god! um totally forgettin my caps!

L>T said...

I've never done it,[phone sex] but, from reading the lessons you've given, I realize it's been attempted at me before.
I'am recalling a certain phone conversation I had with a male person, not to long ago, that i thot was bizarre.
Now, i realize what he was up to.
Ha ha, the dirty bugger.

uglygirl said...

no mmizfit this was so not about that...what you think it is.

hey anon!!
what you upto? and i so dont know what you are talkng about ::grin::

lt
so you must be kinda hot over the phone eh?!