I was watching Oprah the other day and Faith Hill was her guest and she was going to sing this song called “surrender” or something. And Oprah said something about how one has to surrender to god before the prayee’s plea is heard. And I cried like I do while watching Oprah. I don’t know why but I usually cry while watching her show and I guess I would be her ideal viewer. So anyway I was hit with this feeling…of inspiration I guess, and wanted to write a poem about someone on the verge of committing suicide. I dint put pen to paper till yesterday and I did not really finish writing the poem but realised a few things about the way I write. Wanted to put down the three versions I came up with. So anyway was told recently that my writing (or perhaps just my poems) lacks form and probably is too honest. And the thing with me is that I don’t know what form is….it needs to be explained. What is important to me is honesty, because I don’t know any other way. And think that anything I write at least on my blog is about me being me ….and thus honest.
So ..
1
Standing on the verge
One inch
And a journey will begin
A journey
Quick and hard will begin
And I will sacrifice
my precious body
to the pavement.
Standing on the verge
One inch
The road to this place
Has been long.
I almost forget why I am here.
Perhaps someone broke my heart
But now on the verge
I almost forget why I am here.
2
And now standing on a piece of concrete slab
I shiver
My feet cold
My hair flying
My hands behind me
Gripping the iron railing.
The city spread beneath me
For one last time.
Rocks and lakes
Spread beneath me
For one last time.
I shiver
My feet cold
My palms sweating
Give me a minute
My journey will begin
Wait wait
Don’t push
I am standing on the verge.
Give me a minute.
3
Tomorrow the city will wonder
Why did that girl commit suicide?
Tomorrow the city will wonder
Why did she want to die?.........
4 comments:
Poems cannot be given a "form", if it could then it would have become an essay or something, thats the beauty of poems. It is a free flow of thoughts and to give it a form would mean to stop the free flow, thikn what the apt thing would be to do, and then start again, which is, according to me atleast, the last thing that a poet should do. So, dont bother with what pthers have to say about your poems(im sure you dont) and be honest about everything that you do(which im sure you are).
I always like your poems. form or no form.
Am sittimg here at my friends computer in Venice Beach california. just popped in to say Hi!
Can't stay away from the computer.
P.S.haven't heard from you in a while(?)
thanks incognito
i love you lt.
lt: i thought you were angry with me, anyway....
guess what!!
i said goodbye to the word verification!
have fun you!
if a poem is well written, if it expresses what was meant to be said or felt, if it catches the moment, then it already has form. it is already beautiful.
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