Monday, June 05, 2006

I just realised that it’s been a long time since I have opened my word document and written anything. Everything for a while has been impromptu. Made up at the moment for the moment (perhaps even by the moment) that is why some people’s writing impresses me so much. Mizfit’s for example. I don’t say this cos she is my girlfriend abut also that sometimes however corny she writes it comes up with a lot of energy and investment at many levels (ok if not many at least 2). There are many blogs many others like but I like reading personal stuff, or stuff coloured by personal events. For me that’s a good blog you know. My colleague manasa harikar’s blog is just a few days old but her poemlets though from a new blogger (poet) are refreshing.
My recent favourite is cos though I am not a vegan, I like the way the food looks in here.

So what had I sat down to write?

A reply –response (not a rebuttal) of what misfit had written.
I was going to write about how I feel about women.
Women have always been this alien entity to me. I like them, lust after them, hate them, want to get away from them, smell them, bite them, hit them, kiss them, but I cant just ignore them. Till I was 15 years old and till I studied in a co-ed school, I did not know that I could get attracted to girls; I still had the most tumultuous relationships with them. A year later as I joined a girls college I started fearing them, I did not like a large group of women, I could not get to close to them, I felt they were looking at me, at my body. (you never know some of them perhaps
I started having crushes on women and was completely in awe of those women and generally all women. I could not make eye contact with them for quite a while. (Yes yes I still am like that……yes yes call me a coward)

I still am really almost like that but I like women at least and am not too scared of them now. But I am a putty in a lot of their hand. I make Maggie for them, do the little favours, I like to think I can protect them. Hehe. Corny no?

This post is to be cut short as sis is bugging me.


mizfit said...

Ah! the common fear...straight women. make that, a crowd of straight women!
lol...i love u, urt silly fears, ur shyness, ur boldness, ur shock element...ur all!

L>T said...

corny? maybe. But, what are you going to do, deny your feelings?

I think you are brave.

Anonymous said...

surprising...that is not how you come across to others. you seem pretty tough yourself and definitely not the make maggie type

uglygirl said...

well it does depend on your gender anon. i make no maggie for a man. well unless they ask nicely and reciprocates.

serendipiduous said...

make maggie for me no...

closetalk said...

mmm... thats the voyeur in us... i recently started reading this blog by this gay uk guy, because he;s so amazingly frank in what he writes! ;-)

Sol said...

uglygirl ~ spoken like a man {{grins}}